When to start dating after the loss of a spouse
Most importantly, and this does not fit into backpack, someone to talk to. Ultimately, your reinvention starts from the inside, and sometimes that requires solitude. After a little while in solitary, you are still feeling wounded and depressed – and mad! So, explore options that you can afford but most importantly try to do what you love. Travel is one of the most liberating and energizing ways to reinvent yourself, alone or with other women. The world is expanding, and with it your choices- maps, guidebooks, new clothes, tickets to shows, gardens, museums – a new lipstick. There are some great online dating sites around these days.
Congratulations, you have moved from denial to anger. You start to obsess about things you didn’t say or do in your relationship, trying to understand what went wrong. You want to share your personal tragedy with friends, family, hairdresser, and complete strangers. For many, travel is a great way to reaffirm one’s individuality and experience the incredible world we ignored in the first three stages of EX. This is also a time for redefining your sexuality which was probably a strong component of your past relationship. For example, allows you to suggest fun and creative date idea and find someone who enjoys doing the same thing.
The “Makeover Kit” for the EXpress phase might include very big pillow to punch or perhaps a journal or set of paints. You may still be several thousand miles and pools of tears from resolution, and you might even circle back through EXile or EXpress again. But remember what it feels like to breathe on your own. It’s a time to take chances and to not worry if you fall down now and again.
When you are emotionally and physically ready, you can start the next phase. You made it; you’ve paid a high emotional price for your freedom. As you start building a new life, shaping a new career, and making new friends, take the time to remember and be thankful for what you learned in those ‘dark nights of the soul”.
There are no easy tips on how to recover from loss and survive grief. Other widows understand what it feels like to lose a husband after years or decades of marriage. Accepting yourself and others’ response to death is an important part of the grieving process!
If you don’t find the bereavement group to be supportive, don’t be afraid to try a different one.
And, joining a grief support group when you lose your husband will show you how others cope with loss — which will help with your own mourning process.
This however has to wait until reach the state of EXplore. At some point you start to realize that there are things in the world you love, people who care, a future. So, before you start exploring a new life, be sure you can afford it.
In your EXile backpack you will need things like dark sunglasses, Kleenex and small indulgences that make you smile. This is when you want to scream and let your emotions out. This phase can take time, while you may know where you want to go, you may need time to collect the necessary resources to make your dreams come true.
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Letting go of the past through expression of your feelings is healthy way to grieve when you lose your husband.