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Although the specifics of her story are very different from what happened to me, the feelings she described were enough to remind me of where I was four years ago this month. She has two men who want to marry her, but she can’t decide what to do.She’s dated both of them, but the relationships have been very different. She saw things in him that she knew needed work — for both of them. There aren’t the highs and lows, but there also isn’t the magical connection.Life doesn’t come with convenient signposts letting us know which is the path to happiness and which is the path to misery, so we’re stuck taking blind gambles. And we frequently end up with regrets that we carry to our graves. Sometimes we have chances to change mistaken choices we’ve made. But all along the way, we’re guessing and hoping, no matter how much thinking and reasoning we bring to bear on our choices.In the spring and early summer of 2008, the first woman and I had talked a lot of marriage.