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Some people say that you should disclose before you even go on a first date, but at that point I don't even know if I like the person, let alone want to be in a relationship with them.
In the rare case that I meet someone offline I let them know before the first date.
You can visit the /r/Polyamory FAQ, but it's currently still a work in progress! Point your IRC client at irc.and type /join #reddit-poly #polyamory on Snoonet.
Use the webchat link above or point your IRC client at irc.and type /join #polyamory - this integrates with Orange Chat below.
The best services facilitate at least a basic personality test and let you know about a person's lifestyle, age, beliefs and other important factors.
With the best online dating sites, you have a lot of the preliminary questions out of the way already.