Dating new widower
But this is the norm for widowers –for one of two reasons: either the marriage itself wasn’t that healthy and he was immediately ready to move on, OR, like men of a certain age, he put everything had into his marriage and nothing into any other relationships. As such, you are presumably the first woman he’s been with for many years.
So when a woman survives her husband, she’s got a circle of friends from the neighborhood, from work, from her card game, from her book club, from her salsa classes. Regardless, he dictates the terms of the relationship based on HIS needs and schedule. To his credit, he’s taking things slow, to avoid diving into another serious relationship that he may end up regretting.
I made that need known last weekend in a calm, rational way.
In your book, you said that if a guy isn’t seeing you more than once a week by the 3 months point, he probably isn’t interested in a serious relationship.
The widow's ongoing relationship and bond to the deceased remains a central aspect in her life.
She has to cope not merely with the new situation of loving two men at the same time, but also with the shift in the way she has loved her deceased husband: a shirt from a relationship with a physical companion who provides active support and love to one who is no longer alive and cannot be active in her life (see here).
Death is perceived to be associated with love in various ways.
He says he has always taken it slow in dating and this is nothing new.
Even in one of the darkest periods of history, the Holocaust, people fell in love, despite the risks of expressing it.
People did not relinquish love, and love even enabled some of them to survive the horror and death around them.
I want to be sure that I am getting my needs met and that I’m not just a “rebound” for him. Dear Karen, One thing I know about widowers, followed by two things I know about men.
Widowers are QUICK to rebound, to a point of being unseemly.