Dating and healthy relationships
Every time someone makes a mistake, we toss it into the bag and carry it with us forever. In a secure environment, a person is free to open up and be vulnerable.
There are no garbage bags in healthy relationships. Often people come from such insecure childhoods they can only hope that their adult life will include a relationship that allows them to rest in the arms of someone who really cares. When we shift from trying to use others to satisfy our security needs to trying to meet the security needs of others, we find ourselves in a new dimension. We are filling their doubts and fears with the reassurance of our consistent behavior. We become, in a word, loving: other-focused and totally selfless. It is wonderful to be vulnerable, to do an emotional free fall and have someone there to catch you.
Addictive behavior is a deceptive substitute whose effects last but a moment. Each person is aware of his own strengths and weaknesses.
There are many contrasts between healthy and unhealthy relationships. There is no need to hide or to try to fool the other.
Out of love, the partners take the hurt and disappointment of the past and burn it up in the flames of forgiveness. So much of life is lived on the edge of risk, we feel an overwhelming need for at least one relationship to make us feel safe. That is the kind of love that drives out fear and provides genuine security. That delightful taste of vulnerability enables you to open up even more, discover more about who you are, appreciate all the good that God has created in you.
What greater gift can we give someone than to set them free from the weight of their mistakes? In a relationship characterized by fear, just the opposite happens.
Genuine love, on the other hand, is marked by openness, trust, and the freedom to give oneself to another.
Since 1998, CHR has been working toward a world where everyone is equipped for a lifetime of healthy relationships.
Through workshops, programs and online resources, we share skills and knowledge that anyone can use to build safe, lasting relationships and increase their potential for personal and professional success.
If you're new to dating — and even if you're not — it sometimes can be hard to know what might be a problem.
You can read our info on healthy dating relationships and check out signs of abusive ones.