Average suggested dating time before marriage

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Sometimes you have a post you have no idea where it’s going when you start. I’m guessing it’s a long road to nowhere..nowhere but fat bashing that is. It makes for stable relationships when you’re generally close in body rank.

One of my best friends is a big dude (6’6″) who got way fatter after college, and his wife is a skinny minny, but dude is an super confident AMOG and could punch well above his rank if he wanted to.

This is sort of beauty and the beast theme, and I think part of it is many women are ok having a big bear of a man since it makes them feel smaller and safe.

But if a wife refuses sex, is her husband justified in having an affair?

These were some questions raised in a few interesting blog posts, some as responses to reader comments, on Psychology Today.

While we are certainly not promoting affairs as a way to deal with sexlessness in a marriage, we wonder about the many other ways spouses betray each other beyond just affairs or denying the other sex. As I have a lot of people who come to my office who think that they are the virtuous people because they haven’t cheated.

Spouses can treat each other horribly, and yet we only get in a tizzy when one or the other cheats. They have just been neglectful, indifferent, contemptuous, asexual, demeaning, insulting, but they haven’t cheated. Betrayal is a breach, the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence.

(“Two wrongs” and all.) In addition, adultery brings a third person into what is a problem between two, which may only aggravate whatever problem led to the breakdown in sex in the relationship in the first place.

Being “neglectful, indifferent, contemptuous, asexual, demeaning, insulting” is not loving behavior and is often as — and sometimes more — damaging as physical abuse (and there are some who argue that infidelity is abuse).

And yet, there is no great societal outcry over ending those sorts of behaviors, just societal shaming and blaming of often-long-suffering spouses who cheat.

A poll Vicki ran on her blog indicates an overwhelming majority believe withholding sex in a marriage is as bad as infidelity.

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